woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
