My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
