you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
