Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
