i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
