I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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