I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Sober January is a disaster.
it's like iHOP with fire
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
this hospital has no fireball
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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