no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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