You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
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