i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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