its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize