i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
