windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My ass is underappreciated
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
