I'm going to jail i love you
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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