someone owes me an orgasm
Acid is not a monday night drug
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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