U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
