youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
