Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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