i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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