watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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