Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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