PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
