My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Quick, to the slutcave!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
