i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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