you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
