Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
