There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
