Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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