dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
