tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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