She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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