Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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