just come out here and I will go home with you...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
