i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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