did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
