apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize