I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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