Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
