dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
