End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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