I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
