It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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