On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
