How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i think my cat just said my name.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
