I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
3 2 1 whiskey
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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