I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
