I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
