so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
