when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize