So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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