Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
