we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
