Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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