I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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