Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You can't just leave with hair like that
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
