carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Boobs are out for the taking
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
