Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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