Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
