i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
