Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
