Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
