Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Too much gin, very little bucket
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
